3

Kindness is a card game, or a bent up cigarette.

Once again, this ones dedicated to you. As I feel the next string of these will be, along with everything I do. I've lost you, even if I chose to turn around, I know you'd keep walking. I brought this upon myself, I just regret it more and more every day. Fuck, Why am I so indecisive? This is repetitive, I go through this to myself t least 20 times a day; 'Why did I leave?', 'Why did I think thsi would fix anything?', 'Why did I tell you to go back to where you started?'.

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Ridiculous, really is.

If there was one thing I could just get off my chest and sayto your face it'd be that I'm still every bit as in love with you as the day it started, and so much more. You think other people cross my mind? Never. I've had so many opportunities that normally I'd jump on in two seconds, but I pass up based on the fact that I feel like if I'm not yours, I shouldn't be anyone's. I don't want to belong to someone else.

I'm going to make a sad attempt at topic change; I'm growing close with someone who I'm very happy has recently stepped into my life. Someone unexpected was just what I needed, and I'm happy they're around, I really am. I need to listen to Billy Joel, it may give tis better flow, lets try. Ahhh, blockige.

So, I realized today that I really don't like winter as much I used too, I love thje clothes and the way everything and and everyone looks surrounded in it, but I am just so sick of being cold and getting my feet wet. I should stop complaining. However I am really excited for summer, I have a feeling this ones going to be really, really good. Though the last ones going to be really hard to beat, because it was perfect in everyway. I loved, was loved, lost love, gained friends, lost friends, experienced something new, re-lived something old. But regardless, the one on its way seems like it could be better in a lot of ways, but then again I'm missing something that I expected to contribute alot to it. ANYWAYS, I need to stay the fuck away from that topic, seriously. This is getting cut short as I have no ideas.