Final

Gonna' stop now before I start crying, Go off to sleep in the sunshine, Don't wanna see a day when it's dying.

I'm a fool for believing such an intricate act. I'm a fool for thinking something could be so flawless. I don't let people in for this reason exactly, you know more than anyone what this'll do to me. You know the fragility of my strength and how little it takes to strike it down. This wasn't a tiny measurment of unkindliness that I'll be able to build up again without assistance. This wasn't a boy I had a shallow relationship with that screwed me over. This wasn't an image that made me feel ugly. This wasn't a few harsh words or ending of a friendship. The toll this is taking and will continue to take is horrifying me. I'm not a happy person by any stretch, on the better days, this is something completely different. And what an awful time for you to choose to reveal everything. Reveal discussions of a relationship with someone else, feelings for them, reveal questioning your love for me through sleeping with another. I'm not who I was before you. I'm not going to let myself use drugs and hiding as a way to face this. I let everyone go because it seemed you were all I needed. I am facing this alone with my thoughts and I'm scared for future emotions. I'm scared for reaching a low I've yet too, thus far.
I ache from loving you.